I'm such a weight loss surgery failure. At least that's what I feel like lately.

I think the biggest fear of most people who are contemplating weight loss surgery is that they will not lose what they are supposed to and then be placed into a category of the most pathetic losers there are -- those who have had their stomach’s surgically shrunk and still can’t lose weight.

If I had known all the stress that would come into our lives this year, with our move and all, that you can read more than you’ll ever want to know about on my main blog, I would never have had the surgery when I did.

It’s been 8 months and I’ve only lost 44 pounds. I have found ways to cheat the surgery and I’ve been at a plateau almost all summer.

But who knows, maybe once the kids are back into school, and there is a routine, I’ll change my mind and be back on track.

Even the thought of getting back to blogging here is a motivator.

Racquetball Again

I am way too competitive. I always have been. But I’ve never been almost 43, 276 pounds, and this out of shape before.

So Jimmy beats me two games in a row. My face is beat red, every part of me hurts, and sweat is pouring off me (something, as a matter of principal, that I try to NEVER let happen, and what do I say?

I glare at him, frightening him with my intensity and say, 3 out of 5, pal.

I win the next one, but he comes back and beats me in the 4th game 18-16 (we play to 15 but you have to sin by 2).

I guess it’s good I’m so competitive because it’s giving me a real workout, but I am so tired and sore right now! I’m way too fat, old and out of shape to have the “killer instinct” when playing with a 14 year old.

Not Updated in A While ... Why?

1) Because I haven’t had much time because my other blog requires hourly updates as our lives stink lately.

2) Because I didn’t have much good news.

3) Because my weight hadn’t changed in a long time.

But... two weeks ago tomorrow I weighed in and saw no change. Then I went to the Y five days in a row last week. Then I didn’t for three days.

But today I beat Jimmy in racquetball (he beat me on Friday and I was downright MAD) and then weighed in and I’ve lost 4 pounds. That makes it 44 altogether and it gives me hope.

If I can lose 5 more pounds I will way less than I have since I dieted after my breast reduction, which would be the least I’ve weighed since 1994.

And I’ve told myself I can get some new clothes if I lose 50, which is only 6 pounds away. However, we’re pretty broke and I still have some that fit me, so I probably won’t yet...

But still, I’m encouraged.